Danse Macabre
by Hikishi
Summary: Love is all encompassing. No matter how twisted the relationship.


Author's note:

I churned this out today. I think it's beautiful, but then I'm super morbid so I would. Please enjoy.

Danse Macabre, By Hikishi

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. They wouldn't give the rights to a crazy like me anyhow.

Pairings: 1x2

Warnings: Dark, Bit 'o Angst, Yaoi, Mentions of blood, Implied Sexual Connotations

Genres: Romance, kinda, Emotional Hurt/Comfort

* * *

It wasn't even a barely veiled threat. It was a promise.

You see, sex between me and Heero, well, it's like a dance. Many, many complicated steps that all had to be memorised, and a different one for each situation. The one we're engaging in currently is by far the most dangerous.

I'm coming down off a mission high.

This is probably the only time that Heero is the one that fears me. I am extremely dangerous right now, yet in need of release, and Heero, he is the one who must slip past my defences and bring me down. It's insane, it's difficult, but it's not impossible.

I know that I need him. He knows this too. But even though I am rational inside, I am not rational outside. Even the tiniest of errors could end up with him injured.

I have given him scars.

This has given me nightmares.

I trust only him to do this, and whilst not able to just relinquish my knife and let him kiss me, I can at least ignore my adrenaline response telling me that his proximity is way too close and that I need to disable him. Heero is now on his own hair trigger. He knows that he has to get out of the room if I so much as twitch wrong.

Because, given the chance, I _will_ kill him.

Wufei calls us both crazy.

So here are the dance steps.

Heero holds his hands up. Vulnerable, open, relaxed. I watch him, breathing hard. My laboured gasps are the only sound in this room right now. My knife, a wicked looking blade, lowers ever so slightly. Heero steps forward. Still out of range. Still relatively safe and able to make a quick escape. He pulls off his top and tosses it aside. Raises his hands in the air again. I smirk and he steps closer.

Now this is the point of no return for him.

He shifts his body as close as I'll allow him, and lets me run the flat of the blade down the side of his face. Why does he not just disarm me here?

Because he can't.

He tried it once, and lost a lot of blood. The scar is still there, an ugly mark just above his hipbone. He has to move slowly and fluidly. If even a finger twitches quickly, I will cut him. And neither of us want that.

He kisses my wrist, all the while looking into my eyes, his hands never moving. I slide the blade over his shoulder and down his chest. He slides forward one more time, and has one foot between my legs, pressed chest to chest. I am aware only of him, his intense blue eyes boring into mine. My heart is hammering in my chest, whilst his is a calm, steady thump. He slowly puts one, only one arm around my waist, loose and gentle, barely holding, and leans his head next to mine. I can now hear his breathing, and it calms me.

"I'm home." I breathe into his ear. And allow him to complete the final steps. His hand brushes up my arm, barely touching, and his fingers entwine mine, trapping the knife between our palms.

Now I can let him kiss me.

He won't do any more that touch his lips to mine until he gets the knife from me. This is his refusal. He will not be a lover to Shinigami. That part of me is ruthless, and does not care for feelings. It hurts him to know that I am this way, that I _can't_ change it. So I understand. He wants _me_.

Only I can end this dance. He leans back now. Waiting. I have to overcome the killer and take control. Which means I have to show Heero it's me. This is done by relinquishing the knife. I shudder slightly, and step away, leaving both him, and my weapon. I step towards our bed, and lie down on it. Cuddle my pillow. I'm already crying, not looking to see where he hides the knife.

The mattress dips slightly and Heero pulls me to him, giving me a proper kiss. Not a fanciful promise. Just a statement. He will now make slow love to me, make me forget my mission, forget my sins and simply take care of me. Later he'll look at my wounds and patch me up. Later I'll apologise for being such a screw up. Now though, now is all that matters.

Because Heero has survived one more dance with death.


End file.
